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Question 1
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Title: Workplace Sexual Harassment while WFH
Text: Hi,
Hope it's ok to post here, but please let me know if not! I was wondering whether anyone has experienced sexual harassment from a colleague while working from home i.e. inappropriate texts, messages/comments during Zoom calls and Slack etc. Also looking to speak to anyone who reported a colleague for sexual harassment before or during lockdown and had their case delayed or poorly handled.
I'm currently working on a sensitive article to highlight issues women are facing while working from home and would like to amplify women's voices while doing so. If you feel comfortable doing so, please message me or email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). You can remain completely anonymous.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 2
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Title: I’m scared
Text: I don’t know what to do anymore. I am terrified. I got a beer bottle broken in my face tonight. He then took our one year old daughter and locked himself in the room with her. I’m a recovering addict (3years sober) but he continues to use my past against me.. my family adores him! We don’t have many resources where I live, but even with resources.. I don’t want to leave him. I feel like I’m the “bad guy” somehow. I’m a stay at home mom and I’m afraid if I call the cops, they’ll just take my daughter since I don’t have an income! He insists that I don’t work, he wants me home with our daughter. But it’s been getting worse and worse. Idk what to do. I’m literally afraid for my life if I try to leave. I just need some advice! Please!!
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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domesticviolence_ongoing
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Question 3
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Title: Is my supervisor harassing me?
Text: I am (20F) at a retail job. I love my job, and at first, he (31M) was my go to manager because he is the most knowledgeable. However he makes more and more comments, and makes me uncomfortable whenever we work shifts alone. For example, during an 8 hour weekend shift with just the two of us, he asked me the entire day how many men I've slept with, if I was virgin while looking me up and down. I told him it's none of his business and inappropriate, so I'd help customers, but as soon as they'd leave he'd get right back at it. I asked if I could grab lunch, he said not unless i told him. I went anyway. He still brings it up when we're alone, and argue that he'll tell his (he having 5 kids and a girlfriend ) to which I tell him I'm not interested. The day I met his girlfriend who came in to buy some things, he asked me if I thought he was the hottest in the couple; I responded no. Bending over once, he saw my tattoo on my hip and creepily asked "are there more anywhere else?" I just walked away. Then he told me "you know, I am getting a vasectomy" in a hinting way and I shut him down saying "thank god your line can't grow anymore." More recently he told me I'd look better blonde, and then other male coworkers ( I am the only young girl-the only other girl is married and 50) agreed and then told me to "shake it" outside to get customers. He also while alone asked if he was my type, to which i said no.And all the men there are best friends that I don't feel like I can speak up-not real sure if there's much to speak up about. I tell my best friend who tells me to leave and wants to fight him for me, but I just want support while I figure this out because I genuinely love my job, I'm good at it, but I dread having to work alone with him. He doesn't even recognize when customers make me uncomfortable. I complained after a transaction about a guy continually telling me to smile for him and making me feel unsafe and he said "its smiling, it's your job." There's only one guy who sticks up for me about creepy customers and kicks them out, but I can't talk to him about my higher up because they've been besties for about 10 years. Am I being harassed?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_ongoing
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Question 4
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Title: [URGENT] I think a friend committed suicide. Please help.
Text: *******IMPORTANT EDIT******* I NEED TO COME CLEAN WITH ALL OF YOU GUYS, THIS PERSON IS NOT JUST A FRIEND BUT A PAID THERAPIST. THE COMPANY THEY ARE EMPLOYED WITH DOES NOT TOLERATE NO SHOWS WELL SO THIS IS WHY IT IS CONCERNING. EVERYTHING ELSE IS ACCURATE IN MU POST. ******They have been talking about it last week but let me know they sought out crisis help and for a therapist. Today we were supposed to virtually meet up and they did not show up. Not answering texts either. I’m praying to God that this did not happen. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have any other way to contact them or their family. I feel like a piece of shit for not checking up on them or doing anything. I’m praying that this didn’t happen. Oh God
Edit 1: still no reply from them. It’s been ~10 hours since I’ve first reached out to them. I was able to find what I assume their address. Attempted to call their local PD for a welfare check but they are closed on the weekends. No social media of theirs was found. I found their old cell phone number which is either off or disconnected (most likely). I found what I assume their wife’s or daughter’s cell phone which goes directly to voicemail as well.
Please don’t spend your money to give me awards.
Edit 2: Wanted to give you guys a quick update and thank all of you for the well wishes, advice, and just plain support you have provided me in these times.
This morning I got an email from the company he works for. They told me that he is away due to a medical emergency. This means he is ALIVE. I am so happy all of my and your prayers have been answered. I do not know more details except those from the email but I will try to update you guys with the whole story when I can. I am also not aware if the medical emergency is due to a suicide attempt.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 5
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Title: Feel socially incompetent and anxious many days a week
Text: I'm not sure if this is the place to ask this, if not, please tell me which sub would be better.
Right now I'm feeling amazing, I feel fully aware of myself and my surroundings, confident and capable. Which only makes me wonder why most of the other time I feel so shitty (for no apparent reason).
There're many days when my mind just feels clouded, I feel tired and sleepy, and I struggle with social interactions often being very akward. Activities that I can perform perfectly fine, such as driving or cooking don't come natural to me and make me feel very nervous. I often find myself being distracted very easyly
On good days I feel fully confident of myself. I feel happier, more capable of performing my daily activities, and I think I could even pass as kind of charismatic when interacting with others.
I've attributed it maybe to a bad sleep schedule, but even on days when I get plenty of sleep I can still feel shitty. So, I was just wondering what could possibly cause such a hard difference on my... mood?, personality?, from day to day.
I really have no idea if this is something that I should consult with a psychologist or a psychiatrist, or if this is a change that most people can experience to this degree
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 6
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Title: Still suffering 12 years later?
Text: I'm having a pretty bad day, and not sure why I'm so emotional, but I just navigated to this sub 30 mins ago and now posting.
I've been physically free from my abusive relationship for about 12 years now. But whenever I'm having a particularly stressful time or feeling unwell (I have a chronic illness), I get nightmares and there he is, chasing me, attacking me or worse.
I don't know if I need to get help for this?
I don't know if I can ever leave it all behind, I don't really know the effect it's had on me. I had therapy whilst it was happening, and I've had therapy for other stuff afterwards, but never really addressed everything that actually happened. All kinds of abuse. Emotional, mental, physical, financial, sexual.
I'm not sure what I'm asking here, but is this something that ever goes away? Lately when I'm feeling down about other stuff or just really run down, I think about what I went through and it still makes me cry. Do I need to look into this? I have so many other things I am dealing with in therapy it just seems like I will be totally overwhelmed.
I think maybe I just needed to tell someone that on difficult days I am still struggling with the aftermath of this this, because I feel too ashamed to bring it up with people. Anyway, thank you for reading.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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domesticviolence_past
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Question 7
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Title: After several years of therapy I no longer hate myself. I now hate everyone else though 🤨
Text: Not sure which is worse. Is it normal to feel like this ?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 8
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Title: can self harm make you ill?
Text: Seems a weird question, but I was wondering if self harming can make you more susceptible to illnesses like colds and things. I'm guessing my theory is that due to the amount of wounds, your body has to take care of those and potentially means you might get illnesses you may have not anyway.
Does anyone have any idea? I've looked online but can't find anything.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 9
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Title: I don't know where to put this.
Text: I thought studying abroad would help me. I was wrong.
I have a bf that makes me feel likes shit or loved 50/50
I have 3 other guys I think I either love or want to KMS over.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do I wait to talk to my therapist AGAIN (despite not helping me with relationships before I left)?
Do I make a dating profile???
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I WANT TO HURT MYSELF AND GO I NTO A MENTAL INSTITUTION.
BUT IT'S FOREIGN AND I'M SCARED!!!
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing, selfharm_ongoing
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Question 10
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Title: I think I’m going to kill myself in a few days
Text: This is my first time posting on Reddit and it might be my last. I’m 18 graduated last year and i basically amount to nothing. My grades through high school were too shit to get me into any university that had any majors that slightly peaked my interest. Now I’m stuck working in retail everyday for hours on end having to families and couples both of which of mine are completely in shambles. My mom and dad split when I was fairly young which I used as joke material for most of my early years to cope. Now I barley see my father who I’ve always been closer to as he’s moved states for work. I feel like a genuine disappointment to my mom as I’m not going to college, I have no motivation to go to college, and basically to broke to go. The one thing that did make me happy was my girlfriend but after she went to college she broke things off with me completely and now she only wants me around as a “friend” because I know her so well. This isn’t all to my story and I know there’s some out there who have it worse than me but after being prescribed medicine and after a suicide attempt I truly think I’m ready to just give it all up do it.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_active_ongoing
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Question 11
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Title: I hate how I switch between wanting more scars and hating what I’m doing to my body. It’s so hard to stop, even though I want to so badly.
Text: Self harm is the only thing that distracts from the pain and brings me pleasure anymore. I wish I could just turn off my addiction for more cuts and wounds and leave my body alone.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 12
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Title: Attention self harmers
Text: So yesterday I actually came here to post the same bla-bla-bla about how I am indeed self-harming for attention and it makes me feel so fake and superficial, but I was surprised to find out that it’s in fact a very common post here.
So I thought I would share an article that, it seems like, captures exactly the type of behavior that often is disregarded (number 4).
https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/6-reasons-why-people-self-injure/
All reasons are valid. It’s okay, none of us fully understand ourselves. Have a safe day ❤︎
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 13
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Title: My sister won't admit our stepdad is raping her
Text: How do I help.
My twin sister is 14. I caught my stepdad having sex with her. He's always been a dick but I didn't realize he was hurting her.
Mom was away for the weekend and I saw it. It made me puke but I played dumb till mom got home.
Both my sister and him swear it didn't happen. But it did. I SAW IT.
My mom says i shouldn't say things like this.
How do I get this asshole away from my sister if she won't admit it happened?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 14
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Title: all of my relationships are hollow and meaningless
Text: I'm done...
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 15
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Title: I was about a year clean, but I can't find satisfaction in my life anymore, other than self harm.
Text: My life is monotonous, my friends don't invite me to spend time, they don't reply to me, I don't find satisfaction in women, sex, alchohol, or drugs.
Antidepressants don't work and my weight fluctuates constantly.
My gut is killing me, I have constant issues with my bowels, I can't eat in the morning, I eat to survive, I don't enjoy it.
I idealize and plan suicide. Days go by slowly, but I don't remember anything. I don't know what happened last week, or even yesterday.
My only enjoyment and satisfaction comes from cutting my skin, wanting to just go ever deeper.
I'm addicted to cutting myself, I can't talk to anyone about it. I just wish I could enjoy anything else.
It sounds cliché, I enjoy pain, and only pain.
What the fuck do I do when everything feels like nothing?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_active_ongoing, selfharm_ongoing
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Question 16
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Title: Sexual Harassment Questionnaire
Text: Selective Insurance is the lowest bid for local governments (towns, cities, boroughs) to buy for their government employees. (So, as we all know the lowest bidder wins the contract.)
S.I. has these insured people (eg. council members, cops, garbage people, etc.) take a sexual harassment questionnaire, (sounds great, right?) however it is impossible to fail it, because when a question is answered incorrectly, they will tell you to pick another answer, so you can go onto the next question. Thus, not failing the questionnaire.
This false security from sexual harassment. Why even have it at all? Anyone else experience this questionnaire???
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 17
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Title: Coping
Text: hi, this a throwaway account. But I just don't know what else to do. I'm exhausted by the pain, for near a year I'm in constant pain and am so frustrated by the fact that I can't do or feel the things others can. I don't know where to go, and I feel like I can't go on. I just can't imagine continuing on like this, no doctor knows what's going on with me or why I'm in pain as I outwardly look like a healthy young adult, but just feel worn down and depressed. I am looking for advice on what to do.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 18
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Title: I just want some intimacy
Text: I don’t mean sex. I just want someone to hold me lovingly. I want someone to cuddle with me. I want someone so wipe my tears away. I want to have heart-to-heart conversation or just sit together. I want someone’s fingers interlaced with mine. I want someone to tell me it’ll all be okay
But I have no one.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 19
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Title: Rejecting someone in distress is damaging
Text: Here you are, in another depressive state. You're struggling with your depression and anxiety again. You sleep more. You eat more. You isolate more. Maybe you shower more. You do more of whatever that easy comfort is.
After some time in this state, you surely will meet someone. This person might be going through something similar to yourself or just genuinely cares about you. This may be an old friend, a new friend, a stranger, a coworker, or even a family member. At last, you're going to try to engage with this person. You've finally worked up the courage to ask them for that small human interaction like a walk, a coffee, a video game, a discord chat, something.
But here it is: They reject you.
They may know what is going on with you, but they still reject you. They may know it is incredibly difficult for you to be comfortable enough to interact with someone. They reject you anyway.
As social creatures, we try this over and over again. It hurts even more each time and the climb to reach that courageous point is even further away each time. After each instance, your illness will question you, "Has enough been enough yet?" And, yet, you keep trying.
Why do we keep trying? This game is getting harder and harder to play each time. The difficulty is increasing the longer we play. And, we aren't getting any better at the game. We are simply struggling harder and harder. You don't want to end the game, but where is that one moment where the game gets fun again?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 20
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Title: I finally came to terms with something
Text: I relapsed yesterday and lost 15 days of effort but it made me realize something. I don't like hurting myself and I don't like lying about hurting myself. I only do it because it's addicting or I feel like I deserve it, but I don't actually get enjoyment out of it. I just think this is important for me because if I can work on the addiction and the self hating part, I'll be able to stop which is what I want. I'm actually feeling motivated to stop for once. :)
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 21
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Title: Should I get myself diagnosed?
Text: I (F 16) am nearly certain I have ADHD. I've had almost all of the symptoms for all my life, and I just found out what ADHD was about a year ago.
Ever since I was little, my family has always made jokes about my symptoms without realising, I've always been known as the lazy, forgetful, easily distracted one. And I used to get in a ton of crap for it, especially when I was being "lazy", "forgetful", etc. Now that I realise there's an explanation as to why, I'm wondering whether I tell my parents and go get help for it.
My parents grew up in different countries where mental disorders weren't really a "thing", so they don't really believe in them and it's never been a conversation for us. I'm worried if I tell them about it, they'll just think I'm making up an excuse as to why my grades are dropping (I used to always be top of the class but because of the pandemic, my mental health has been declining and my ADHD is just getting worse.) I only have a few years left of school, and I don't think mine makes any accommodations for people with ADHD. Is going to get help for my ADHD worth having to tell my parents or will it be too late? I really love my parents and I don't want to potentially mess up my relationship with them. What do I do?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 22
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Title: I miss physical affection
Text: Been single for a long time because I’m not very good at making relationships last or feeling safe and deserving enough of one to keep it going. Been cheated on in most of them, some of them I deserved it but I don’t think all of them. I don’t feel like I need one but it would he nice to have someone to hold or be held by once in a while, back rubs, head scratches, face touches. I just wish it was easy to have like a physical comfort FWB, not even needing to be sexual. I miss it but I don’t always feel like I deserve it.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 23
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Title: (tw: description of sexual assault) Me and my best friend were raped last night. What now?
Text: I never really post on reddit but something happened last night and I don't know who else to tell other than some internet strangers. Last night, one of my close guy friends came over to hang out with me and my roommate. We all got really drunk and he was starting to get pushy. He was in the room with my roommate when I left to go get something from the kitchen. When I came back her door was locked. She was calling out for me and I couldn't hear her. I went back to what I was doing and then he came out and sent me in there because she was asking for me. She started crying like crazy and couldn't tell me why so I chalked it up to being drunk and helped her calm down and go to bed. After she was asleep he kept trying to get me to come closer and cuddle with him. I was okay with it. I told him I didn't want to do it but he choked me, held me down and forced himself on me for hours while I told him to stop. When I woke up I felt okay but when I saw my best friend's face I could tell that we both knew what happened. I just don't know where to start. I feel like it is my fault for allowing him in the house and introducing him to my friend. It hurts so much that he could come here and do that to both of us. I don't understand. And I just don't know what to do or who to talk to or how I can help my friend. I want to care for her but I'm having a hard time caring for myself. I need to figure out what to do next? How can I move on from this?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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rape_ongoing
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Question 24
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Title: Sometimes regret leaving my best friend (she was in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend)
Text: I was good friends with a girl and her boyfriend for a while and then she opened up to me and told me that he was abusing her.
As time went on their relationship got worse. He was extremely violent, one time I was at home and recovering from a surgery but my best friend was texting me that she wasn't safe. He had pulled her out of her car by her hair and threw her in the street and drove off. That night I told her sister and they got her because I couldn't do anything.
My best friend explained to me the many things he would do to her, I remember once she said he would choke her, and hit her on the back.
Eventually it became too much to be around. He took this opportunity after having cheated on her, to propose to my best friend and she said yes. That was around when I couldn't do it anymore.
I had been in an abusive relationship myself, and although it wasn't as violent as her relationship it still hit too close to home. Me and her sister would always try to get her to leave him, of course it never happened.
She's still getting married to him and they've set the date. Honestly I feel so guilty sometimes, thinking I could have saved her. It also upsets me how she knew how bad her relationship was and how much support she had but still chose to be with him and not accept my help... I don't understand why she stays in this world. I think she would even get mad or defensive sometimes when I used to try to mention leaving him.
I even messaged her during quarantine to say I was hoping she was ok at this time (especially because of the rising DV rates due to quarantine). I got no answer.
I don't know. What would you do? How would you feel? What's the right thing to do?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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domesticviolence_past
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Question 25
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Title: I think my sister just saw my freshly new cut
Text: What do I do I don't want her to know that im cutting what should I do?
Edit:She is healing my cut right know. 5:40 pm
We had a talk.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 26
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Title: I've got nothing left
Text: I've ruined my whole life. I'm a disappointment I have nothing left to live for.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 27
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Title: "These are the best years of your life, enjoy them :)"
Text: Best years my ass. Once you're an adult life goes down if you don't have a plan and still if you have one good luck, your soul breaks in the process of achieveing what you want. I want to end it all badly to stop the pain, I'm burnout, I'm tired, I lost my humanity and purpose in everything. There are persons who are already dead without knowing.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 28
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Title: Does it ever stop
Text: Does physical abuse actually ever end ?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 29
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Title: How do I support my younger brother?
Text: For context: my brother was tested for ADHD /ASD/SEN as a child and all came back negative. We grew up in a single parent household, loving, able to do everything we wanted. Perhaps even spoilt at times. He rarely saw his dad as lived a life of poverty and petty crime.
My brother (M24) was kicked out of high school (bad behaviour) & lost touch with his friends. He went to college but dropped out. Then, he managed to get onto a university course (thanks to our neighbour at the time) doing a practical subject he loved. He didn’t attend, didn’t write his essays and dropped out.
During covid, we had many chats on how to support him; he was diagnosed with depression, given medication but only took it for a month and then stopped. He also stopped taking the meds for his insomnia. We’ve tried CBT, he went once and then wouldn’t get out of bed to go again.
Post covid I managed to get him back onto the course but his attendance is currently below 15%. I tired to organise for him to stay on student accommodation but he chose to live with his dad who sick and in and out of hospital with serious diabetes.
He has spent and continues to spend all of his time indoors speaking with ‘friends in America.’ He doesn’t respond to calls/texts/visits, doesn’t go to university, doesn’t have a job and seemingly doesn’t want to do anything to improve his circumstances, despite being openly unhappy.
My mum and I (F29) have tried everything we can but he is often rude and in denial about his actions/choices/behaviour. He empathy is 0.
Please help - I don’t know what’s going on with him or what else to do to support him
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 30
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Title: Surviving after leaving
Text: Hey guys. Tomorrow will mark 4 months since I’ve left my sons father/abuser. How do you guys survive after the fact mentally and actually physically as well? I’m currently living in a DV shelter. I started off doing good, getting a job and having full time daycare. But my son got exposed to Covid at daycare and I got fired. So I’ve been trying to find a new job, but I’ve been taking my son out of daycare more since I’m not work and the daycare that I had full time hours cut my hours, since I’m not working. But it’s also preventing me from finding a new job now. I’m looking for a new daycare as well. Meanwhile, also looking for a place of my own. And trying to get legal aid for full custody. I’m a single mom of a baby boy who’s going to turn one this month. I have no family at all. I have little to no friends. Two of my best friends live out of state and I just reconnected finally with one other friend. I just feel so burnt out. I have no help at all. I try to coparent with my sons father as civilly as I can. But he’s such a flake. He’ll go two weeks without seeing his son and won’t care. But will hmu to talk about what’s going on in his day or try to get me back. What do you guys do to help with your mental state? I go to therapy already. But I feel so burnt out due to trying my best to get back up on my feet, but life keeps throwing punches my way. What helps you refresh?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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domesticviolence_past
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Question 31
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Title: Help for my sister’s friend
Text: As the title suggests, my sister has made a friend from an incredibly religious community. Anyways, my sister’s friend’s husband has been abusing her and I was wondering if there were any resources especially for someone that’s in the US not legally?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 32
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Title: I know it’s not my fault but…
Text: I was harassed maybe a month ago outside a grocery store by my house. This creepy old man told me to lighten up and smile more while I was wearing a face mask and I was very covered up by way of summer clothing. I called the police on him as, he seemed to be lurking for young women (I’m in my mid 20s, he thought I was younger) and after I spoke to the lady at the police station, wasn’t that guy’s first time lurking for young women there and they sent people to the super market.
That left me rather shaken up..
Today, I wore a romper that is rather frumpy (not a flattering fit but the shorts are very long) and a nerdy hat (Power Rangers) to go do errands today and no one bothered me until I was making my way home. I’m about to cross to get closer to my block, got about a block to go till I get to my house, when this man stops his car in the crosswalk both blocking my way and to look me up and down. I didn’t notice right away as, I was on the phone, when I gave him the finger and he sped away when he saw that I saw him.
Should I cover up more? It’s just it’s so hot and I had to go fax important papers over my health. Would a different hat and clothing not make men not stare?
Realistically, I know it’s not my fault no matter what I’m wearing but, I just am starting to feel less and less safe. Is there a way to cover up big boobs? I don’t want a binder as, I love my curves but…I’m just so scared and confused.
Help?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_ongoing
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Question 33
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Title: Idk what I’m talking abt
Text: So I had recently just started using razor blades and not the ones from the sharpeners, but the ones I’m usually intimidated by, well it’s whatever, but it started raining today and I’m at school and it’s pouring for a cool minute there my legs and arms stung from all the water and how cold the water was, it was so painful
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 34
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Title: My friend ran into my abuser
Text: A friend saw my abuser at a store and said he looked old and withered and it made me happy. Am I a horrible person for that?
She also yelled at him as she walked by. She was with me in court for my restraining order against him so she hates him possibly more than I do. Just wanted to tell someone. I wish I could go a day without thinking about his mean nasty voice in my head. It plagues me. It’s been over three years. But I have a little satisfaction knowing he’s not thriving.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 35
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Title: Sad on my birthday
Text: Yesterday was my birthday. I (now 22F) woke up alone, as my boyfriend (23M) was still at work. He came home and didn't lay with me for the hour that we had before I had to get ready for work I went to work and no one really talked to me. My dad didn't bother to call me and say happy birthday. Every year I feel more and more lonely. I don't know why I have such a hard time making friends. People are friendly with me, but no one ever gets close enough for me to consider them a good friend. Sad to think that when my boyfriend and I get married, I won't have any bridesmaids.
Today when the Taylor Swift tour was announced, I was so excited and couldn't wait to order tickets, and then realized I will have no one to go with. My boyfriend refuses to go with me, saying he wouldn't have a good time because he doesn't like her music, and that would be a huge waste of time. I have no one else that I can go with. I either go alone, or I don't go at all.
I am so incredibly lonely in life. I fear that I'm only with my boyfriend because if I'm not, then I will truly be all alone. Does it ever get better? How do you make friends when you're not in college, and the only one in your work place in their twenties?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 36
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Title: Posted earlier here today and honestly it's only getting worse
Text: I'm looking for where I want to end it because if I'm going to then might as well spend the money I'll have for the rest of my life to do it in style and to make it easier.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_active_ongoing
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Question 37
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Title: UNDOING KARMA / IMPOSTERS SYNDROME
Text: Sometimes i get sad thinking about how much intensity from years of negative thinking patterns i must free myself from.
I can barely afford any treatment right now, and I’m championed for doing as well as i have been. but i wonder how much i neglect my mental health to be productive.
Me taking a 2 year break to focus on my mind seems nice but unrealistic. I don’t want to be 31 with no income or property, although i can admit a lot of that is matrix driven peer pressure.
I get imposters syndrome when i take an adderall and feel better. I think about how many people don’t have access to meds and therapy and get brought to tears sometimes.
I feel lazy. I work hard with inspiration but after years of my brain creating delusions that kept me in bed and away from things i know i should be doing.. it can be difficult to get out of my head and into things
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 38
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Title: why are rape victims more likely to be assaulted again?
Text: is this even true? it’s so scary to think about.
especially since i’ve had to deal with forceful men since i was raped and it makes me near incapable of saying no or defending myself. i start to get frozen just like when it happened.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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rape_past
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Question 39
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Title: I'm going to kill myself before the void kills me.
Text: I feel nothing. I do nothing. I am nothing. All there is pain and more pain. I JUST WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing, suicideideation_active_ongoing
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Question 40
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Title: why do my "freinds" act like this?
Text: why do my freinds say things like this?
Not just the constant use of the R word but basically anything deeper than "look how big this girl on Instagrams boobs are!"
Anything deeper and more meaningful than that gets made fun of.
They were watching a meme compilation where someone started singing "this land is your land" by Woody Guthrie.
They were making fun of the song and I brought up it was made by woody Guthrie.
"Woody? From toy story!" "Yeah woody from toy story!"
And I'm like no... woody Guthrie.
They immediately called him the R word and me the r word. Saying me and him are both worthless and not even worth being memorized.
Wtf.
My argument was obviously someone found worth in memorizing his words if it's sung in schools, national events, and holidays.
One of my freinds thinks he's a rapper too so to make fun of another musician for... whatever reason I thought was silly.
Same thing happened with Oppenheimer the nuclear guy. They were watching a video of a nuclear detonation and Oppenheimer saying the quote about being the destroyer of worlds. They questioned who the quote was from so I said "Oppenheimer" and they went "gayheimen? I heard gayheimen!" Then again said he'd be remembered for nothing, that I store useless information in my head and that I'm the R word and so is Oppenheimer.
What is going on here? I'm not even saying I'm particularly smart but I know who Oppenheimer and Woody are. I have deeper thoughts than just thirsting over Instagram girls.
Constantly I'm called gay for not thirsting over the girls they look at. They literally follow underage high school girls on Instagram.
All day they spend talking shit and criticizing me for everything I do. Or anyone does, as if they're the most superior men on the planet or something.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 41
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Title: Was I sexually harassed or did I not make my boundaries clear enough?
Text: I am a guy and I consider myself right now to be heteroflexible (straight but I'm comfortable with holding another man's hand for example etc)
I just got out of a relationship and really wanted to make new friends, so I decided to use Bumbles BFF feature. It allows you to find "best friends forever" like you would find sex with Tinder, except it's friends.
Me and this Bi-sexual guy decide to hang out and go bar hopping on this app designed for finding friends.
On our 3rd bar and few drinks later he ordered me and only me this drink called a rumble. He said it would make him throw up so he couldn't. I had 2 bartenders warn me about this drink and one of them said I should be afraid.
Sure enough this shot was powerful and it was mixing with Whiskey and Irish cream etc
He shows me his 2019 snap chat stories and pulls up a picture of himself and says "Awww don't I look cute?" And I'm like "yeah you look cute"
4th bar he asks "why are you flirting with me?.. You called me cute earlier"
Uhhh.... I apologize and explain I didn't mean to flirt. I try my best to communicate that we would be best just being friends. Another cranberry whiskey down, we leave.
Now he wants to hold my hand while we walk to the next bar, which I think is actually kind of cool because if girls can hold girls hands as just friends, men should be able to hold hands as just friends too.
After all I just established we should be friends.
Now things are becoming a haze. 2 bars later I think he puts his hand on my thigh and I laugh 😅. He asks of that's okay and I'm like "sure it's fine" heteroflexible and all.
And it was. That specific time.
But now we are walking from bar to bar holding hands and his hand is always on my thigh now. He is constantly doing it.
I go to use the bathroom as he is leaving and I walk past him and he says "oh.. I thought you were going to hug me" uhm.. why?
Some time later
He then informs me that he basically feels sober because his tolerance is so high (highly functioning alchoholic)
RED FLAG RED FLAG. I immediately feel like if I drink to much I am in danger.
I immediately switch to only having waters.
We are walking down this alley to another bar and he stops us, has us look each other in the eyes, and says "Kiss me" and slowly starts going in.
I nope him and go for a hug instead. He says "come on you said the odds of me getting a kiss at the end of the night was strong"
Uhm I did? Oh yeah I did... uhh why did I say that.
"Sorry dude, anxiety is a bitch 😬"
More bars. More thigh holding. He drives my car back to his apartment (I'm still sobering)
And he is asking if I'm sure I'm good to drive back, and suggested several times through out the night I could crash at his place.
I tell him I'm good a couple of times, he says okay and leaves.. thank God I'm alone. Nope. He comes back to my car and tells me that I "still owe him a kiss though."
I laugh, say goodbye again, and to be very honest I drove home above the legal limit because I did not feel safe. Home represented peace and I needed it.
I spent half the night on high alert and trying to get sober again. It was stressful
Did I not establish my boundaries? Did I lead him on with what was perceived as flirting?
I confronted him over text this morning and he apologized and said he didn't know I felt like that.
We got on the same page, established some boundaries, and agreed to just be friends.
Maybe he truly misunderstood the situation?
I never told him no, don't touch my thigh, and I genuinely consented the first time, he just kept doing it. I never directly told him to stop.
Maybe he thought I had given permission.
I really do not know if I am overthinking this, and it was all a misunderstanding. He would be a cool person to have as a friend in theory, so I don't want to lose that friendship over a misunderstanding. I think it's fair that if he does anything like this again the friendship is immediately over.
I'm so conflicted. Maybe I'm being a drama queen
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_past
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Question 42
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Title: Do I have to work with the guy that was harassing me??
Text: Hey all. About 3 years ago I was working with a guy (top manager), that was doing things like drawing d\*cks on the white board, telling me he was naked when we were on the phone, and referring to myself and other females as 'f\*ckers'. Those are just a few examples. I said I would no longer work with him, and I haven't for three years. Well I was just told that I have to work with him again. I'm so grossed out by him and my company's lack of compassion and absolute crap way they handled the situation. I don't feel I should have to work with him. I never pursued anything more than telling HR. There was retaliation on his part......swept under the rug. As long as I didn't have to work with him again I was okay. Now I'm just nauseous at the thought of it again......
​
​
Thoughts?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_past
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Question 43
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Title: How did you cope with being harassed by a co-worker?
Text: 2 weeks ago I worked a special event for my job. My coworker (48/M) was blatantly sexually harassing me (22/F). Asking if I wanted a 3 way with him and his fiancé, little touches, hugs without consent or interest in them, other inappropriate words. I didn’t report it because he’s been with my company for 3 years and is held in high regards with our busiest station and is genuinely amazing at his job.
Today I worked another special event and he was my partner. His words escalated. His comments a lot more crude and blatant. I was going to roll over again and tell my scheduler when I work another special event, I didn’t want to be with him. The next two he told me he wouldn’t be working and I was relieved.
He walked out to my car with me today before the rest of the team came out to theirs. He hugged me without consent. And then, as I turned away to get in my car and try to forget the day, he smacked my butt very hard.
I sent an email to HR explaining with little detail that I was harassed two weeks ago and was scared to say anything, but today it escaped to inappropriate physical contact and I’d like to come in tomorrow to file a sexual harassment report.
How did you cope with this? I feel guilty when I shouldn’t because he’ll lose his job (we work in EMS. he doesn’t deserve a job at all if he’s doing this, let alone one caring foe those in their most vulnerable state). I feel scared to file a claim against a co worker.
I did this years ago when I was assaulted at a gas station and this is bringing up the same feelings I felt when I reported my assailant. Only now it’s much more personal because this isn’t a stranger, this is a man I work with who many people respect.
Does anyone have any advice to help me cope with this and get through the process as best as possible?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_ongoing
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Question 44
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Title: twenty one days
Text: so I've had about the last 3 years to think about it and life still isn't worth living. I've tried all the self help shit. I got into philosophy (mostly existentialism), probably on the hunt for answers, or at least, understanding. nothing has worked thus far. these days i mostly resort to the unhealthy coping mechanisms. self harm, drinking, overeating, undereating... the list goes on.
​
I just feel so isolated. and sad. and I still utterly despise myself. perhaps I could've tried harder.
everything will be okay
not long now
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_active_ongoing, selfharm_ongoing
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Question 45
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Title: Awkward situation at work
Text: I was hoping I could share my experience here, and get some feedback. Full disclosure, I am a 25 year old male.
So I work in a law office. I’m sitting at my desk, doing my work, when my married female coworker comes and and lays a magazine on my dest (I share my office with another person, and the magazine was for them). While she is in there, I ask her about some polo shirts that were laid out in my chair before I came in this morning, specifically if they were for me.
She said they were, and asked me about my shirt size. Apparently, they were originally for her, but they were too small.
She ended up saying to me, “you look nice in these shirts” to which I reply, as she is walking out “oh gosh, thank you!”
She glanced back at me, and she did not respond.
I’m afraid my thanks may have made her uncomfortable. I’m afraid it was interpreted as something it was not meant to be.
I never intended anything by it. I haven’t gotten any complaints or anything, but I still feel weird about what happened.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 46
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Title: I used to love Halloween
Text: I'm ready to end it all at 16, no fucking way am I going through 70+ more years.
I can't enjoy anything anymore, I feel passionate about nothing. I think I'm a schizoid since I don't want to make or like maintaining friends either. I can't even celebrate my favourite Holiday anymore since I'm a teen that doesn't get invited to shit. I can't brush my teeth, I'm severely depressed, I skip school. Can't stand the people there.
I would be able to enjoy tomorrow with a fun costume and would've counted the days up to Halloween with a horror movie if I was still sane.
I wanted to buy one with my Dad today, but he said no. He's celebrating that All-Saint's-Day Filipino tradition *today* for some reason with my extended family to visit my cousin who committed suicide. Hah. Irony, right? I'm gonna do something extreme tomorrow so either I finally lay down and or they actually wise the fuck up and realize how miserable this place this.
My only regret is that I wish I'd seen the ocean more.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_active_ongoing
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Question 47
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Title: i treat cutting myself like it’s a fun hobby
Text: help. it’s seriously being a very bad addiction but i don’t know how to stop. today when i woke up, the first thing i did was cut myself. then i had somewhere to go, and once i came back home i cut myself. and just now i came back from something else and i literally ate a snack while cutting myself. i treat it like it’s a hobby or something, and i don’t know how to stop. i’ve tried other forms of self harm already, like rubber bands, punching a pillow, drawing on my skin, but nothing really works except for cutting because it’s the fact that i’m willingly making myself hurt and bleed that does it for me. i know this is really bad and i need to stop but i don’t know how.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 48
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Title: I made myself lonely on purpose.
Text: I had two best friends, A and B. I was friends with them for years on end, and I shared literally EVERYTHING with them, from embarrassing experiences to cute boys to makeup. We could have a whole conversation about cheese and enjoy ourselves. We would fall asleep on Facetime together and wake up together. We would walk to Target, we would go out to eat, paint, have picnics. And it was mutual, if I listened to A and B's problems they would be happy to listen to mine. Its stuff many people on here would only dream of. But I felt like I was going in a different path than them, and they were the best people I met in my whole entire life. They still are, they didnt do anything wrong. The problem was, I wanted to meet other people and lessen my social anxiety because I used them as support so I didnt have to move forward, and I was B's support too. I wanted to go forward in life, but it was impossible to do so in that friend group. I ended up removing their number, and call me a bitch or someone who doesnt belong on this subreddit. Part of why I did it was my mom, she couldn't stand either of them. But I decided to do it because I found myself becoming B in the flesh. Her hobbies became my hobbies, stuff she was doing became stuff I wanted to do. We talked just like one another. It was mirroring but on a whole other level. I lacked an identity. I didnt want to be anyone else, I wanted to be me, but who was me. Now, as someone who has zero nada zilch friends, i understand my hobbies and likes a lot more clearer, but I miss them a lot. I vowed to talk to them again, well if they even want to talk to me again, once I achieved my goal of overcoming my social anxiety.
If you read this far, then thank you!
TL;DR, left my friends to find myself.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 49
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Title: Is it wrong for me to get urges the most when it’s other people who are in a bad place?
Text: Not sure if the title is worded well, but yeah. I’ve found that I always wanna hurt myself the most after my friends tell me that they’re not doing well. I don’t think it’s because of mental health competitiveness.. even if it is I’d still feel this guilt. I think it might be because I never reach out to my friends, and when they reach out to me I wanna make sure I put no extra stress on them and lock up my own feelings even tighter, but then I just end up making myself feel ignored and ig when I cut it’s like... reaffirming I’m allowed to be upset? I’m not really sure. I feel like I’m bashing them or something if I self harm after they cry to me because I feel like that would be seen as sort of blaming them for it. Does anybody else feel anything similar? Am I just not a nice person and making their pain about myself?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 50
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Title: Need advice
Text: My husband is very abusive and attacks me weekly. He threatens me that if I call the cops he will lie and tell them I hit him or I started it when that is not true at all. What do I do? Do I take the risk?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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domesticviolence_ongoing
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Question 51
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Title: I don’t want to die, but I no longer want to exist.
Text: There is no point to this. Society has made it almost impossible to not live in a damn cycle of work come home, get 2 hours to yourself, go to sleep. And then you get to do it again.
If that’s all there is, why even continue on.
I’m never getting married or having kids, for personal reasons..So I don’t have a responsibility to continue on either, but I know I could never kill myself, which makes it even harder. I know there will be no relief for the pain I feel every god damn day. I’m jealous of everyone who is content living like a damn robot slaved to society doing the exact same thing everyday. I wish I could be happy doing that, but I just feel like I’m wasting my damn life away.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 52
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Title: its stupid but i just ordered a pizza from dominos and I'm proud for 2 reasons a) i now know how to order a pizza and b) I'm eating
Text: (also this applies here because i purposefully barely eat as a way to harm myself)
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 53
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Title: sometimes I just want to be heard
Text: They don't fucking listen unless you say you wanna kill yourself. Music is my only escape from the outside miseries or life
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 54
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Title: Am I a bad person for wanting my rapist to die?
Text: I knew him since we were little kids, and he decided to rape me about a year ago. It happened after a party, and we were both drunk. I just couldn't report him after it happened, I felt broken for months. And when I gathered my courage, nobody took me seriously. Not even my friends. It was horrible. He's still out there, and no one believes what he did to me.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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rape_past
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Question 55
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Title: Help
Text: I live in a group home, so I'm usually kept safe. But ummm, last night I scratched my leg and left a wound. I'm having lots of trouble fighting my impulses to self harm and it's hurting my boyfriend more than it is me. What should I do?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 56
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Title: My English teacher called me out for being a loner Infront of a class of 65 excluding me.
Text: She was taking a test. And then it was my turn. When I was going to her desk, she asked something to the whole class. "Is she always this silent?".Everybody said yes. Then she asked me, multiple times the same question. I said no but I wasn't audible. I wasn't speaking. I was just moving my mouth because I was nervous and when I'm nervous I cannot speak audibly. This fueled the situation even more. She asked me one more time the same question before moving on to the test as I had the same answer which was no. She asked me the question for the test and I was able to answer it. I thought it died down but then as I was going back to my seat, she asked me "Who is your best friend?". I did not answer till I reached my desk and when I did and got in, I answered "No one" She then started to ask me a ton of questions with concern. "Do you seriously not have a single friend in this class of 65?!", "Are you uncomfortable with your classmates?", "Do you not like your classmates"?, "What about your bench mate?" The girl I was sitting to was not my friend. We never talk and I just met her this year. And I can guarantee she dislikes me too. So, I didn't answer. If I would have said yes, it would be a total lie and I hate lies like that and if I would have said no, it would seem rude. She then started lecturing me on how friends was very important. "This is not your age to be so reserved. You need to open up more, speak more. What if you need help one day in the future but you have no one to call up?" and so on.
I was about to cry and she noticed it. She asked me "Now, why are you crying?" I did not answer. I did manage to hold my tears in and she kept on going on. Then finally, she told me to try to make friends and let me sit down. Everybody kept staring at me.
She saw me yesterday, sitting alone on the floor in a corner away from others in our lunch break time. I was studying. And that's why she probably called me out but I know she's going to tell this to every teacher now and they're all going to call me out. I don't wan to leave my house even more now.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 57
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Title: I'm scared
Text: I've always pictured the way I would die. Maybe not exactly, but I always imagined I'd be the one to end it.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 58
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Title: Finally left him for good tonight
Text: This is the 4th split up but needs to be the final one.
He is beset by personality disorders. I believe he has NPD with some BPD traits, ADHD plus autism.
He is obsessed by BPD & all his ex's are crazy & he has tried to pin BPD on me.
I used to live with him but after a police incident in Sept, I left & moved back to my home city an hour from him. We did get talking again & started dating but he has got more & more abusive & the relationship such as it was - was going nowhere.
He enjoys playing the victim & even now he will be saying he has been dumped by me before Xmas & what a bitch I am. It will probably be to get out of working shifts because he will be so "heart broken" - if only he actually had a heart. He has a rock instead.
He is a psychopath who hates women. He has abused all his ex's & he should never be allowed to date another woman. I reported incidents of abuse to the police but unfortunately there was insufficient evidence to prosecute him.
He has since been more abusive but it seems very hard to get anything to stick & at the very least get him arrested & cautioned. Certainly I felt the police force where I lived with him, totally let me down & failed to recognise that he was coercivelly controlling me
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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domesticviolence_past
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Question 59
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Title: What do I do. Im 13 and pregnant, scared and I think it belongs to my teacher
Text: I found out that I am pregnant and I think its my teacher’s. I feel ashamed
I was having a really hard time in my math class and asked my teacher for help. He said after class he could help me since it was the last class of the day and I said yes. When I went to his office to get help I sat down and got my notebook out. Even with his help I couldn’t understand the problems and I got really frustrated. He told me that he could give me and A for the grade if I helped HIM instead and I said yes definitely.
He took my hand and guided me to his desk and he started to kinda hug me and move weird? I was confused and then he asked me if I was stressed out from the math problems and I nodded my head. He started touching me and I said what are you doing and he said he was helping relieve the stress. He wasn’t hurting me and I trusted him so I said ok and then get reached under my shirt and grabbed my breast and then he put his hand in my pants and I didn’t know what to do so I didn’t say anything.
He said this was how I could help him, and get my good grade so I just nodded. He pulled his pants down and his thing was out and then pulled my pants down and I tried to move away from him but he slowly pulled me closer and said shh it was ok and that he wouldn’t hurt me. He started to have sex with me and I don’t remember much but i know it hurt. then he backed up and said we were done and that I shouldn’t say anything and that we were friends.
I think it was a few weeks after, I felt sick and didnt get my period so my older friend got tests from the store and helped me take it and they all had two lines. It’s been 2 months since the whole situation and Im worried because I don’t know how people will react and if they find out they’ll be mad. Advice?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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childabuse_endangerment_past, rape_past
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Question 60
|
Title: I’m going to hang myself
Text: Idk when but it will be soon. Good bye everyone. Whatever happens to me after this, who gives a shit. As long as I don’t have to live this life anymore. I was born to suffer and live in despair. I’m done with the games god and the universe are trying to play with me. IM DONE. IM DONE PLAYING THIS STUPID FUCKING GAME. I hope my neck fucking snaps when I hang myself too. I deserve it for being such a worthless piece of shit.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_active_ongoing
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Question 61
|
Title: I Was Blamed For My Own Sexual Harassment...By My Father
Text: Hello all,
So I’ve never posted here before but last night I was in the shower and I remembered something that made me feel instantly sick to my stomach. I think my brain actually blocked out this memory for a while because it was too painful to dwell on but for some reason-not sure if it’s part of my depression or what-I remembered what happened that day and I hope you don’t mind me sharing. It’s hard to talk about, and I never spoke to a therapist about it even though I know I should.
I’ll give you the short version. Basically a couple years ago I was temping as a receptionist at my dads office. The regular receptionist went on vacation a lot so they would call me in to fill in for her. I was happy to do it. The pay was good, and once I got the hang of the email and phone system it was pretty simple. Most days I was bored out of my mind watching people pass by every hour, but one day this guy notices me sitting there and says he’s never seen me before. I smiled and told him I was just filling in for (let’s call her Debbie) and that my dad works there. He said something like “Oh that’s cool! Nice to meet you!” And walked away. Cut to about an hour later, he comes back to the front desk and offers me some cash. He says he might as well give it to me cause he’s not gonna spend it. My initial reaction was shock but I honestly was so shocked that I wasn’t really thinking properly. He also came closer to me and asked if he could hug me, again this has never happened to me before so I really wasn’t sure how to react. I said “Okay...” and he hugged me and gave me a total of $8.00. I honestly didn’t want to accept the money at all, but I was also scared of what his reaction would be if I tried to protest so I took the money, hoping he would leave me alone. A while later I told my dad about it on the car ride home and all he said was “Why did you take the money?” I found it hard to answer but I told him I really just wanted it to be over. He tells me if I had called the police I would have been asked why I took the money, and not taken seriously by the officer. I remember being speechless. I was in shock that my dad would blame me for something like this...to this day it still makes me sick to think about it and I guess that’s why I blocked it from my memory...
I’m really sorry if this doesn’t count as sexual harassment but I felt like I was taken advantage of that day and to have my dad blame me for the entire thing still hurts...
I don’t know what I should do with this information, like if I should take it public and let everyone know what a massive misogynist my dad apparently is...I don’t want to, I really don’t know what to do so that’s why I’m posting here anonymously. I just need to get my words out and get this out of my system.
Side note: I was super uncomfortable with keeping the money, so I gave it to my dad to return to the guy and asked if he could ask the regular receptionist to have a word with him about inappropriate office behavior.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_past
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Question 62
|
Title: Please Avoid This Site
Text: So I was depressed Thursday night. I had used BlahTherapy before to vent, let some stuff out. It's pretty anonymous. So the listener I got seemed nice at first. Then he suggested exchanging nudes on Snapchat to help me feel better. I called him out on it, something along the lines of "I'm having a mental health struggle. And you're asking me for nudes?" And he said "no, I'm not asking for nudes. I suggested we could." That's still just as awful. I was so tired, angry and shocked that I unfortunately didn't even screenshot or report him.
So later, I Googled it and turns out there's lots of issues on this site with that kind of stuff. If I had known, I wouldn't have gone on it in the first place. So please please avoid this site. Be careful if you're having a struggle. I am so disgusted and upset by people who are trolls and predators that would try to take advantage of mentally fragile people.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_past
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Question 63
|
Title: Anyone else get really dizzy before and after sh
Text: I self harmed this morning and then literally passed out on my bathroom floor, I’m assuming it wasn’t from blood loss as it was only slightly dripping. I was also quite dizzy before this. I was wondering if this happens to anyone else or if someone knows why?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 64
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Title: Is it normal to just easily forget things, have trouble sleeping, feel paranoid, and feel like everyday you aren’t quite on this earth when you are depressed
Text: I struggle w being “present” and this is something that adults in my life have actually noticed more recently
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 65
|
Title: I have never felt this numb
Text: I have never in my life felt this numb, i don’t really go out anymore and i don’t have energy to do anything else than watch tv. I quit drinking about a month ago which has kind of made my depression worse since i feel like i ”don’t” have a reason to go out to bars and stuff. I know it’s stupid to think so but i used to go out more when i drank
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 66
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Title: Uncle made me feel uncomfortable
Text: On my 21st birthday I went out partying with friends and family. The women were all dancing together and the guys were outside drinking. Out of nowhere someone slaps my butt and I get really scared cause it hurt. I turn around but don't see anyone so I ask my friend who was that and she said my Uncle. So I ask my aunts and they just laugh it off and I said that really hurt and proceed to dance away from him. He does it a 2nd time and he asks does that hurt. I said yes can you stop. He says something but its really loud and I cant hear him cause of the music so he presses his face against my ear and says well why are you dancing so close to me. I try to move away from him but he proceeds to follow me. I manage to get away from him eventually tho. Later that night all of my aunts and uncles leave and it's just me and my friend. I guess my Uncle wanted to stay and party with us but couldn't find us and so my aunt came and got us and ubered back with us but he argued to ride in the backseat with me and my friend. I sat in the middle and he put his arm behind me. He kept saying I didn't like him and asking why I didn't like him. It was really weird and I was like hey were family. This all just made me feel very uncomfortable and I just want to tell my mom about it but I know she'll make it a big deal and I don't even know if this is harassment or not. What should I do?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_past
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Question 67
|
Title: I feel so stupid
Text: Basically my family is forcing me to attend college even though I'll be the one paying it all back. I asked for advice on some subreddits and got told I didn't have a plan when I thought I did. I relapsed over it all so much. Like my leg is covered all over again. Idk where else to go bc all the other subreddits mocked me and called me stupid and whiny basically. I know no one will read but it's a rant post ig.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 68
|
Title: I can't wait
Text: I want to die so so so bad
I need to die
I can't handle this good fucking god I really need to die I hate this so much
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 69
|
Title: was this harassment?
Text: I was graduating 6th grade at the time. It was really hot out, so I wore shorts (fingertip length) and an oversized tee to graduation rehearsals. Everything went smoothly until the end. This teacher made a comment about how my "legs were very long and pretty. You'll get a lot of advantages with those" and then he started rambling about women in the workplace or something obscure like that. I didn't think much of it in the moment, but as I was walking home I began to feel very weird about that. Was this verbal harassment or just my mind playing the victim?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_past
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Question 70
|
Title: Need help for suicidal brother
Text: Yesterday my brother talked to me and told me that there is a really high chance that he will commit suicide in the next 10 years. So he gave me the suicide letters for our mom , my brother and one for me. A little bit of context to understand my brother is needed to understand him and why he thinks that there is a really high chance.
He suffers from some kind of chronic suicide headache which is currently treatable but only as long as his body can handle the pills (according to him 5-10years) + he has schizoid personality disorder and other minor health issues.
I mean he will suffer unimaginable pain and he told me that the pain will definetly break him. I barely have any contact to him (due to his personality disorder and i live about 400km away) and he has no one except my mom.
However he is the nicest person i will probably ever know. Whenever i struggled or i needed something he would figure out how to help me without expecting anything from me. He just helped me because he wanted to help me.
So on one hand i want to help him somehow but on the other hand i understand why he struggles and that he wants to go while he still has some dignity.
Now my question is how do i help him and what am i supposed to do ?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 71
|
Title: this is frustrating
Text: I started self harming a couple months ago, started out pretty deep (to me atleast) it was a coping mechanism to me, using shaving razor blades that didn’t belong to me and stuff on my upper thigh. but all of a fucking sudden, for some reason I can’t cut as deep anymore, it’s really fucking frustrating, like a month ago I could cut to the fat and now I can’t, and I want to, I can’t though. help me achieve this ability I had again, what can I do? I have one idea tho, that my blade I’m using is just getting jagged, I remember it was easier and felt like a hot knife through butter using new blades, it probably is that. well, thanks for the help
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 72
|
Title: Found out today my dad is a pervert
Text: (I'm new to reddit so I'm not really familiar with the "r/" thingy?? so I apologize if I put it wrong.)
Hi Reddit, this has been stuck on my mind for a few hours now and I can't sleep. My dad and I went to go fetch my mom in front of a Drug Store. When my mom's service van arrived, she went in to buy some medicines while I was left with my dad in the car. His phone brightness was on the max and I bet even the aliens from the other planet can see it. He was scrolling on facebook when he showed me a photo of a dog then scrolled again. Photos of girls with sexy outfits appeared continuously while he tried to cover it using his hands lmao. And then, my friend's photo appeared saying that she just changed her profile picture. She was wearing a white short-sleeved cropped top with jeans. She was just standing there, and only half of her body was included in the photo. My dad just looked at it. I didn't mind. But he was LOOKING at it for too long now. It has been like around 20 seconds now and normally, people would just scroll after like 5 seconds idk?? I was honestly getting really uncomfortable. THEN, he freaking clicked it. and. STARED AT IT. I thought he would finally scroll but his sudden remark made me really, uncomfortable, and DISGUSTED.
He said, "Oh, dalaga na nga siya oh. Malaki na din hinaharap." Which translates to, "Oh, she's already grown up oh. Her chest also got big." LIKE?? WTF?! WHO SAYS THAT TO A 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL?!
So I replied, "Bakit ka tumitingin!? 'Wag mo ngang tignan 'yan! Respeto na lang sa tao eh!" (Why are you looking at that!? Don't look at it! Just respect the person!) I honestly didn't know what to say. I just feel really uncomfortable. Should I tell my mom? Should I tell anyone?
But one thing is for sure, I ain't lettin' any of my friends near my house because of this. Ever. This one remark made me change the way I view him.
And one of the reasons I dress conservatively is because of the cat callers and perverts on the street, then I just found out my dad acts like that, too? What if it's more than just staring at it when no one's there with him?
I want to know your opinions about this, 'cause right now, I'm really overthinking. Do you think I should tell my mom?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 73
|
Title: Anyone else not react to it for years after it happened, then get all the emotions at once?
Text: When I was 14 I was gang raped. And then I just moved on with my life. I knew I'd been raped, but I barely even thought about it, and if I did, it was like "huh. That was f*cked. Oh well." I wasn't really upset or anything. Well, I'm 17 now, and for no reason whatsoever I feel like it happened yesterday and I can't handle it. I'm freaking out and I feel so stupid because I don't know why I'm so upset all of a sudden after all this time.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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childabuse_endangerment_past, rape_past
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Question 74
|
Title: I hate myself and i want to die
Text: Im stupid i cant create anything, I’m doing an art course and I cant even make any fucking art let alone good art I feel like shit I just want to cut myself for days all I do is hurt my boyfriend and hes the only thing that keeps me alive and happy I need to go back on meds but none of them fucking work
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
|
suicideideation_passive_ongoing, selfharm_ongoing
|
Question 75
|
Title: Growing up without a father.
Text: Hey guys, I am one of the many (black) man that grew up without a father figure. I think this plays a big part in the conditioning of my mental health today, because I tend to spend a lot of time on the taught of how life would’ve been if I had my father play a role in my life.
Sometimes when I see my friends with their father; “I be like damn bro you’re spoiled” because they actually get help in areas I could’ve dreamed of being helped.
Does anyone else without a father gets feelings like this? I wouldn’t call it jealousy because I am happy for them but I feel down bad a lot of times in life because it gets hard and I have this feeling that no one really understand how much it sucks to be doing/learning a lot of stuff by yourself. Shit is hard and I feel terrible today. I wish it could all be better.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
|
Question 76
|
Title: I wonder what it feels like to have never considered suicide
Text: It's unfathomable to me. How do they do it? Are they lying?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
|
suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 77
|
Title: I hate people saying "Don't kill yourself, some people will be sad about you"
Text: Their happiness is not more important than mines, saying this is like saying "Your happiness (which is 0) is not important, you have to suffer and cry every day so some people won't be sad"
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
|
suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 78
|
Title: I'm in love with my bestie and don't know what to do(im a girl lol) it’s so stupid lmao
Text: I don’t know I was attached to her when she left for another country and posted her stories with other friends, I was so sad, I don’t understand myself, but I cut my own veins, yes it’s so stupid but it’s a habit . Sometimes you just want to run away from it and die
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing, selfharm_ongoing
|
Question 79
|
Title: My parents want me to trust my abusive brother
Text: My parents want me to trust and accept my brother even though he has hurt us, punched holes in the wall, threatened us to kill us and fought with my parents until they had to call the police. He’s only 17 so we can’t get him out of the house and we have called multiple places to get help and they rarely ever contact us again. The police never do anything accept break up the fight and take my brother to the hospital. Sometimes my brother has small fights with my family which usually involve threatening to hurt or kill us over something small like taking a damn shower. These small fights happen almost every week to the point that I’ve gotten numb to it. I know the routine of going to hide in my room and locking the door. But between the fights he acts just normal. He sometimes gives me small gifts but I know he’s trying to buy back my love. He literally told my dad that that was what he was doing. I don’t trust him and my parents tell me to be the bigger person even though I know he’ll hurt us again. My parents are not jerks in fact they are the two people I trust most in the world. I know they just want someone to trust him, but he’s done too much to my parents and me to forgive him. I know it’s wrong not to forgive him but even when he was little his teachers told my parents to never leave me alone with him. I don’t know if I’ll ever trust him.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
|
Question 80
|
Title: Lost job and feel worthless
Text: I've been unemployed for quite some time. I had a job for two and a half years before COVID. It was the only thing that gave me a sense of purpose and made me less depressed.
The pandemic ruined everything and there was a rumor of redundancies and the policy in my company is "last in, first out". My worries came true and last month, I was let go.
I know a few former employeeswho have already died by suicide. I can't see any hope. I don't have life's savings and its nearly impossible to get another job never mind rent where I live.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
|
suicideideation_passive_ongoing
|
Question 81
|
Title: Worsening situation, clearer thinking?
Text: TLDR; She might be pregnant, and I believe we’ve both been abusive toward each other. What now?
Hi everyone. I posted a few days ago questioning if I was abusive or my partner. Check for context
Unfortunately, the situation got much much worse after that. Long story short, we have both filed charges against each other and TRO’s.
After my partner got her TRO against me she contacted me the following day to tell me she is pregnant.
Now, obviously there’s a good chance she is lying. However, when getting my things from our apartment, I noticed she had not touched our pot for 2/3 days. This is extremely odd, we are both regular smokers.
After thinking long and hard, I believe we’ve both abused each other. I think we are trauma bonded to each other, either from our own actions or our history or both. We each experienced different forms of significant abuse and difficulty as children. I believe this could have lead us to latch to each other. But, I know my love for her is real. I do not love her for how she makes me feel or in a trauma based hole-filling way, I love her for who she is through and through.
As a person who strives to make the best choices. If she is pregnant, where in the hell do we go from here?
Instinctually, I would hope we each drop all charges and try to sort it out. I don’t want that child born to parents who have final restraining orders and charges against each other. It hurts me deeply to think I’d bring a baby into this world who’s parents hate each other.
But obviously, given everything that’s happened, attempting to salvage this relationship is a terrifying prospect.
Has anyone been in this kind of situation? What avenues have you taken?
Please, no abortion suggestions. I’m aware that’s a possibility - and I am not anti abortion - but I have always taken fatherhood very seriously. It would be the absolute last resort
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
|
domesticviolence_ongoing
|
Question 82
|
Title: 16m, just want companions.
Text: I am 16 years old; however, I look older. I would
consider myself a very taciturn young man. I have
recently had my house raided by the FBI, bomb
squad and the Pennsylvania state police, I have been
involved in some not so positive groups. I recently
had my girlfriend break up with me; she had stated
that she loved to many other guys to be with me, it's
shitty it is and it is heartbreaking, to say the least. I
would get so lonely I used to offer girls money just
to date me; nothing sexual, it is still sad and pathetic
for an individual to try and do that however. I have
been becoming very frustrated by others and have
found myself easily irritable, I just want someone to
talk to. I have tried numerous therapists; however, I
never can actually form a well structured relationship
with them. I just want socialization; although, I do not
wish for oversocialization to the point that I become
hedonistic and begin to hate life.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
|
Question 83
|
Title: "Hey wait a minute! "
Text: Yeah today a girl said that to me when i got out of class. She probablly just didnt want to go out of class alone but it still felt nice to know someone apriciates your time a little bit. I mean the fact that i recognized such a small thing is probablly very sad, but it made my day.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
|
Question 84
|
Title: i hate myself so much… i just cut myself
Text: it’s not even as bad as i used to do it. i know that going deeper won’t solve anything if not making things worse… i hate my body too, i hate having to pee and having to poop. i try to postpone the latest as much as i can. i see my therapist once a week and i don’t know what to do anymore
i wish someone would punch me in the guts and never see them again. the cuts are stinging a bit, i already took care of them
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
|
selfharm_ongoing
|
Question 85
|
Title: I used to think I had a specical purpose in the world...
Text: then I took environmental science in school and relized we killed the climate pocket in the history of time that we essentially destroyed. Oh yes humans are so arrogant that we still think we can fix it with our masterfully cunning technology. This is not the case. Ask any climate change scientist if they think we can turn back time. NO. We can adapt perhaps... like all periods of time... the rich will survive with their technology and grandour.
​
So then I focussed on poeople and thought maybe I could help others and assumed I'd have a partner and friends. Those things slipped away from me. After 7 boyfriends in my 30s... half of which I was in love with and thought it was forever I gave up on partners. I'd tried women too but never got very far. Unfotunately I had my tubes tied because I never much thought it fair to bring children in the world. But I thought maybe I could have my own child. I pushed myself to work ungodly amounts of hours and pretend.. oh pretend I was okay. I even got to the point where I was offered a morgage on my own for a 3 bedroom mobile home.
​
But alas it all fell down. ANd the summer of disapointment and hell left me alone with no reason. I wake up every day and hope and dream to dear god that something just kills me . I've tried... but I can't.. I used to consume cannabis at night and fall alseep to movies and tv shows. My doctor wants me off the cannabis so he can get my medication right. But now I just sit and cry myself to sleep. I've watched so many shows.. I've been off work for a month now.. Nothing quite interests me. This is the deepest and most penetrating depression I have ever felt in my life.
​
I feel like its a blue pill red pill question. Do I pretend I don't know what I know. Act as if using reusable bags and paper straws might save the world . Be happy and maybe find some friendship. Or do I accept the terrible truth that the world is an ugly ugly place and spend the rest of my days in agony. and torment.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_active_past, suicideideation_passive_ongoing
|
Question 86
|
Title: I’m broken and I can’t be fixed.
Text: I can’t undo what was done to me, I can’t get my childhood back, and I’ll never just be a nice, normal girl.
I must have been a proper cunt in a past life.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
|
no_crisis
|
Question 87
|
Title: In the end
Text: I have sat by my window, waiting for the courage to return. I try to overcome it all but the feeling I get from knowing it can all end if i take just another step, it's the closest to peace I'll ever get. the pain that stays with me, the wounds I tried to heal. they are all open and singing for me to go. I feel worthless, like... I'm here to be ignored and left and abandoned. I've made 3 attempts this year to take my life. the last one scared the hell out of me, I came home to silence i only had one person to contact.
All I have done is damage my body by overdosing, and scar myself with cuts, then pray for the strength to just be done with it all. when your only way out of pain is bleeding yourself, or dosing yourself to the point of no return... I want to not feel, I want that end, but I have the fear that I'm just causing pain to others. and I get it. it will hurt them. and that's not what I want to do. it's soo hard, I want to stay because I don't like seeing people in pain but we all have to go someday. I choose to go
sooner, the condition i'm in is pathetic. and I hate that it's going to cause problems. but I know anyone who knows me knows this is coming. and your life gets pretty quiet when those around you sense that. they know they can't do anything so. they dont do anything. i'm not blaming, or trying to say anything else. just that it's complex and not easy to explain. but imagine feeling soo alone and soo much all at once. thats the thing with depression. you will feel everything, and you will feel nothing. it's torture.
So I'm here prepared to leave, if it doesn't work this time I'll likey be more damaged and probably won't be allowed out of care for a long time, and that thought frightens me. the ramifications but also just failing to do what I set out to do. the last time was meant to work, but it didn't. so I choose now to fall, and if the drugs don't do it then the fall will. I am forsaken, I am broken, I am alone.
For those that knew me, all I can say is sorry. but I was in soo much pain, I couldn't sleep or function. I couldn't focus, smile, or pick up and carry on. or find a new meaning. I tried but failed. I was supposed to be there for myself and I couldn't do it anymore. to kill someone is murder, so when you take yourself I can see how it's a sin, you're killing a person by taking yourself, but if you agree to it as a release from pain, is it mercy? the 4th time has no place for mistakes, I don't wish to wake up again, there is no place for me in this world. no, love no light. and it's all my fault.
this is farewell. I wish for peace. especially to those I love.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_past, suicideideation_active_ongoing
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Question 88
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Title: Anonymous but please help
Text: I got raped at a theme park around 15 years ago. I was 10. All this time I thought it was like a dream or something until I searched up the person and I saw his face and I am so lost but it was him. It all happened. Makes so much sense for the mess my mind is and how my life is gone. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared to tell any police and I don’t want people to call me a liar I just need help. I feel like I have to do something because I saw he’s still working at the park and around kids. I really can’t handle this so please help I’m lost.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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childabuse_endangerment_past, rape_past
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Question 89
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Title: Sexual Harassment at Work
Text: I’m a passive kind of guy (m50). I don’t bother anyone. I do my work and I keep to myself. I’ve been verbally and sexually harassed by this male coworker and his friend. They make lewd and crude sexual remarks that assail my masculinity to me privately and sometimes within earshot of other workers which is meant to humiliate me. On a few occasions they made unwanted sexual advances and I’m glad no one saw that. When I threatened to report them they started leaving crudely drawn sexual pictures of me around the office. That was meant for me to not report them. I’m so sick and upset about this. They even put these drawings on the windshield of my car. I’m not gay but they think I am. They call me a girl and they say I walk like a girl. I don’t know what to do.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_ongoing
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Question 90
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Title: TW: SH and Un*living Self(Why don’t we have the freedom to do to our bodies as we wish?)
Text: I am mentally ill. I have had chronic major depressive disorder my entire life. I’m 22 now. Something I want to know is why I am not allowed to have ownership of my own autonomy and be able to be allowed to do to it as I please? Why can’t I hurt myself and/or un*live myself if I want to? Why can’t I have control over my own body without being locked up in a mental institute for trying or doing so? As long as it isn’t physically harming someone else other than oneself, I don’t see the issue. I’m not trying to promote sh and/or un*living oneself, these are just genuine questions for myself.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing, selfharm_ongoing
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Question 91
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Title: And here I am.
Text: Another diary shit.
You guessed it right, I did it again (+10 poin-)!
There was much nore blood, but the cuts are not even that deep, I'm confused. Well, I guess my brain is just to dumb to understand simple to things ('Thanks, bro'), so I won't even try to precess this shit.
Spent half an hour just cleaning and that was.. irritating? Annoying? Not satisfying at all? ('These are synonyms, you stupid bi-) And I'm tired. And I don't wanna sleep. Life is confusing Jeeesus Kristus. Welp, yeah.
My mother let me stay at home for a week and she thinks I'm getting better because I simply don't wanna break her heart again, I love her too much and she doesn't deserves this kind of pain. I'll try my best to successfully wake up and go to school.
Oh, and I finished reading 'This is going to hurt' and it feels like it gave me even more depression than life overall. Like, I cried so hard over it (Thanks, Adam) that my eyes are dryer than the Sahara desert.
Now I'm about to go watch something funny again. Damn, it feels like YouTube is too small for my needs. It feels like I've managed to watch every single funny video there. Hopefully, I'll find something and spend the rest of this (not really) beautiful night smiling and laughing. Maybe I should watch 5-minutes-craft instead?
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 92
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Title: I am so tired of being on this thin line
Text: Hooray I wasted my entire fucking sleep again, and I nearly had a mental breakdown in my bed because of it. I am so sick and tired of being on the brink of insanity every time something happens, I think I am actively losing my mind. I might just hurt myself if my shoelace becomes untied. I can't express how much I want to take my anger out on myself to avoid hurting someone else. What have I become? I feel tears trying to escape but I can't cry. I'm genuinely the worst piece of shit that has ever been born. I amount nothing to anything, and am zero to none. For anyone who's ever given me shit, thank you for supporting my ever increasing rage and fueling my insanity. I think when I wake up tommorow after calling in sick I'm going to drink alcohol until I either vomit or pass out. We will see what shitty road I go down when I wake up after 5 hours of sleep.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 93
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Title: I can't keep going.
Text: I'm so fucking scared all the time. I'm 26 and so unhealthy and obese and my health problems due to that (sleep apnea) are keeping me awake at night. I've been dissociated nearly every moment of every day for 2 months.
All I do is google the same things over and over again looking for a possible solution. I feel like I'm going insane. I've switched meds countless times because all of this started when I tried to get off lexapro over a year ago. I'm back on it now but it's only been like.....5(??) days and I was taking a stupidly low dose because I forgot that 10mg is the normal starting dose.
This is just so stupid. I'm so dumb for letting my weight and my health get this bad. I don't even know how I'm going to lose the 40+ pounds I need to lose in order to qualify to get a device that could help with my sleep apnea. I wish I didn't hate CPAP masks. They're so uncomfortable. Hell, I've even been considering surgery, lord knows I know nearly everything about them by now because I've only googled it 12 million times.
I dropped out of school to focus on my health. I don't have a job because I'm chronically tired. I basically live off my parents. I'm a mooch. A stupid, crappy mooch. And every day is torture and getting doctor's appointments takes too long.
I just....I don't want to die but I don't want to be alive anymore.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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suicideideation_passive_ongoing
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Question 94
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Title: Was this sexual harassment?
Text: I was camping with my friends (me, 1 girl and 4 boys) for my friends birthday. On the 16th we were all so tired and too lazy to do anything so we all decided to spend the day in the tent (that was like a 6 man) and we were all laying close to each other and all getting along, and this boy (who I guess I was friends with) rested his head on my stomach (with a pillow behind his head on my stomach) and he laid on his side, as he was doing that he was resting his arm across my thighs (a bit above my knee) at the start I thought nothing of it and he was just resting his arm.
Then he began to stroke my thigh a bit (at the time I had no idea what to do, and a friend whispered to me if I was okay with it, and I just didn’t know what to say) then he began to move his hand up the outer end of my thigh as to further up and squeeze it a bit.
I wanted to say something in the tent I just felt like me and my whole body froze with fear, and couldn’t move, and I felt so sick. It felt like I forgot what was happening and went somewhere else for a few seconds. And now thinking about it makes me feel so sick and disgusting. I wanted to do something so bad but it meant I’d have to acknowledge it was happening and I just couldn’t.
After my two girl best friends got me to message him, and luckily my other guy friend said we’d avoid him. What annoys me the most is someone could have said something. There was this guy there who literally had a massive crush on me and said nothing. He even defended the guy and was like “maybe he didn’t know what he was doing”.
What’s scared me the most was the fact I always thought I’d be the kind of person to get angry at someone touching me, but I didn’t I just froze. It’s now two years later and I don’t think about it all the time but when I do it still makes me feel upset. I also haven’t been in a tent since - the thought of it makes my chest feel tight and I want to panic. I also thought the guy looked like Evan Peters from American horror story so for the last two years I haven’t watched any episodes even though I really want to.
Also idk if this is me being dramatic or not and idek know if I should be feeling this way.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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sexualharassment_past
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Question 95
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Title: is it normal for scars to itch?
Text: so i never cut deep enough in the past to draw blood but recently I used my razor and now my scars itch like they never did when I only used nails and stuff.
is that normal?? does anyone know a way to help stop my scars from itching?? I don't want to scratch them and reopen the wound and stuff
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 96
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Title: It's been 5 years
Text: I am now 17 and still struggling. I never wanted to tell anyone, but when my friend directly asked me if it happened to me I just broke down. She showed me I didn't have to be embarrassed and it took her years to figure it out. After that I actually started to try and recover. Last year I told my mentor, who really helped me. She told me I didn't have to worry about my school work, she knew I'd pass. She checked up on me regularly and she promised to not tell my parents. I'm so grateful for my friend and mentor who helped me, yet I still feel like shit. I can't help but be afraid of going outside on my own. I can't talk to men without feeling like they have hidden intentions. I feel so broken and I feel like I should be over it by now. I don't know why I'm so hard on myself, if anyone I know were to be in my situation I would support them, but why can't I support myself? I was 12 years old, I was scared, so why didn't I scream? I can't forgive myself, but why can I forgive everyone else? I've been doing so much better, but I feel like it'll never leave me alone. It'll always haunt me.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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childabuse_endangerment_past
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Question 97
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Title: Just talking
Text: The so-called 'psychotically depressed' person who
tries to kill themself doesn't do so out of quote
'hopelessness' or any abstract conviction that life's
assets and debits do not square. And surely not
because death seems suddenly appealing. The
person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain
unendurable level will kill themselves the same way a
trapped person will eventually jump from the window
of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people
who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling
from a great height is still just as great as it would be
for you or me standing speculatively at the same
window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of
falling remains a constant. The variable here is the
other terror, the fire's flames: when the flames get
close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly
less terrible of two terrors. It's not desiring the fall;
it's a terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on
the sidewalk, looking up and yelling 'Don't!' and
'Hang on!', can understand the jump. Not really. You'd
have to have personally been trapped and felt flames
to really understand a terror way beyond falling
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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no_crisis
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Question 98
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Title: Every time something remotely negative happens I want to sh
Text: It’s so annoying and impossible to quite self harming because of it. It doesn’t matter if I’m just tired, or if I got into a fight with someone. Anytime my brain feels anything that’s not happy I want to hurt myself. The more I sh the worse the urges get, and it’s driving me insane. Even when I go months without it I still think about it some. I’ve been self harming for two years now and I don’t think it’s ever going to end.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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selfharm_ongoing
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Question 99
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Title: Why anal rape?
Text: Rape is horrible enough, but why do they then rape you in your backside? Do they not understand how horrible and painful and gross and humiliating it is? They have already devastated my life, so why do that to? I don't understand. I don't understand why any rape happens. It should something that doesn't exist
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
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rape_past
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Question 100
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Title: No one wants to help
Text: I scream for help everyday and no one cares. People just don’t care about me. They care about “doing the right thing”, which is keeping me alive. Life is pain i say, use your meds they say. It’s all fake. No one is real anymore.
For any crisis present, mark whether it is Ongoing or Past.
**Leave a row blank if that crisis type is not present.**
|
suicideideation_passive_ongoing
|
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